I just called to listen

Have you ever called someone just to talk or had someone call you just to talk? Well most of us have.

Most of us only pick up the phone because WE have something to say, isn’t that kind of selfish?

I come from a pretty large family; seven kids and my parents. They live on the west coast for the most part, ranging between San Diego, California, Las Vegas, Nevada, Medford, Oregon and Portland, Oregon, with my parents in between. I live in Ohio, keeps the peace that way.

My mom calls me to talk, cry, laugh, and generally communicate with someone. My brothers and sisters all seem to “Know” what is best for them, one of the reasons, in opinion they moved so far from the rest of them last time.

Knowing most of my family and reading about them on Facebook, Myspace, and through email I know they have things that my mother doesn’t know about in their lives. And that’s fine, everyone has secrets. I’m not sure why but I just don’t care if people know about me, hence the blog.

But I listen to my mom when she calls or I call her (not as often as I should). But from listening to her they really don’t spend the time to listen to her. They call her to tell her what is happening in their lives and those around them.

My father has been in and out of the hospital lately, pacemaker and other stuff; his birthday was just last week; he’s in his mid 70’s. He has never been a big talker, get out what’s needed and or important and end the conversation. I think that is where my siblings get it from.

Mom on the other hand likes to talk and having moved a distance from everyone they knew a few years ago, the phone is her biggest form of communication.

So when she called me the other day to talk and started asking me what of their stuff I wanted when they were gone it was a bit sad, and creepy. I told her to go sell it all and spend the money of them, not to just save things because someone wanted it. I would rather they were off having a good time, enjoying themselves than saving things that others “wanted when they were gone.”

But all this got me to thinking, when was the last time I called someone not because I had something to say or was returning a call, but just called so they could talk?

Same to you, have you ever just called someone to give them a chance to ramble at you, no time limits and no other reasons that made you call?

No opinions on what they say, no reason you need to get off the phone, and only one thing on your mind, listening to them.

It’s at this point that my fingers start to go into the rant about my siblings and why they should call and listen to mom more, why they don’t know what is best for mom and dad more than mom and dad do. But then I am reminded that their side of that discussion goes “You have nothing to say, you moved so far away that none of us even know your family.”

So I won’t go into that. I will briefly point out that for most of my adult life the only time I heard from one of them was if they needed computer help, and I will leave it at that.

Are we all really too busy to pick up a phone, send an email, or text message?

Do we not talk for fear of arguing? Not being able to just accept the other person and what they do or don’t do in their lives? People fit into the friends and family category because at some point we decided that they were such a big part of our lives that we put them in that category. And not all relatives fit in that category; they’re just not close enough.

Life gets in the way at times but it never really stays there. Ever find yourself thinking about someone you haven’t or heard from in a long time? What happened, did you grow apart, become too caught up in life, or just get lazy?

Life is too short to not talk to someone because of a difference of opinion, religion, chose of partner, or any other reason!

Reach out and touch someone and let them touch you back.

Thanks
Often during troubled times,
we forget to say “Thank you”
The shoulders we have cried on,
the ears we have confessed to
The arms in which we have found comfort,
or the hearts that said “I love you”
So, when the tears have all dried,
and the heart is content
Remember to thank them,
and let them know what their love meant.

c Shell Franklin
www.designonastick.com